Last Year

Last year was a bad one in so many ways.

It seemed to start so well, I truly believed I had turned a corner, that my life was now going to get better, I felt I was loved (which turned out just to be a lie). I felt so happy, I was gaining belief in myself.

Then.... the wheels all started to come off and everything began to unravel at a sickeningly fast pace.

By the end of January the person who had made me believe I was loved more than anything in the world, had broken my heart. I guess I was just a game for him for a while and like a fool I fell into the game, hook, line and sinker. He is now married to someone else he met on the Internet. A lesson for me, only believe in yourself, trusting is something you don't do. Yes even older people can be hurt and made a fool of.

In February, I received an email from my father's wife (my mother and father divorced when I was little), she informed me my father was not well. I live in England, they in South Africa, where my half brother and half sister live. I had not seen my father for many years, and as most men he never kept in contact with me. March arrived and my fathers birthday 1st March (he turned 80), I sent an email to my half brother asking him to wish my dad a very happy birthday. Then on 9th March, I had an email from South Africa telling me my father had died. I never expected to feel the loss so very very much as I have done. My dad has gone, I never had a chance to say goodbye. That chance will come sometime during this summer here in England, I have my Dad's ashes, it was his request to be scattered in England, and the ashes were sent to me. My Dad has 1 living sister, and so when summer arrives, I will make the trip to Essex and with my sons and my aunt we will scatter his ashes.

That was the first three months of 2008......... more was to come.