Monday, 9 March 2009
Remembering
Today is the 1st Anniversary of my fathers death, and I just wanted to say, I miss you dad. x
Sunday, 1 March 2009
Spring Has Sprung
1st of March and its is the official first day of spring today. I have seen a few daffodils in bloom and I have to say I love seeing all the spring flowers when they do come out. Having grown up in African where we basically had only two seasons, Summer and Winter, I really enjoy the changing seasons, the colours of the flowers in spring and then all the different shades of leaves in the autumn.
Winter is my least favourite season, the long dark nights and the constant feeling cold. Now that spring has sprung we will soon be putting the clocks forward again.
Winter is my least favourite season, the long dark nights and the constant feeling cold. Now that spring has sprung we will soon be putting the clocks forward again.
A Question
I wonder why people feel they have the right to make others feel so useless and so stupid? Do they get a huge kick out of it? Does it boost their self esteem, which must be very low if they feel the need to make other people feel so awful. Or are they just Bullys?
Last Year
Last year was a bad one in so many ways.
It seemed to start so well, I truly believed I had turned a corner, that my life was now going to get better, I felt I was loved (which turned out just to be a lie). I felt so happy, I was gaining belief in myself.
Then.... the wheels all started to come off and everything began to unravel at a sickeningly fast pace.
By the end of January the person who had made me believe I was loved more than anything in the world, had broken my heart. I guess I was just a game for him for a while and like a fool I fell into the game, hook, line and sinker. He is now married to someone else he met on the Internet. A lesson for me, only believe in yourself, trusting is something you don't do. Yes even older people can be hurt and made a fool of.
In February, I received an email from my father's wife (my mother and father divorced when I was little), she informed me my father was not well. I live in England, they in South Africa, where my half brother and half sister live. I had not seen my father for many years, and as most men he never kept in contact with me. March arrived and my fathers birthday 1st March (he turned 80), I sent an email to my half brother asking him to wish my dad a very happy birthday. Then on 9th March, I had an email from South Africa telling me my father had died. I never expected to feel the loss so very very much as I have done. My dad has gone, I never had a chance to say goodbye. That chance will come sometime during this summer here in England, I have my Dad's ashes, it was his request to be scattered in England, and the ashes were sent to me. My Dad has 1 living sister, and so when summer arrives, I will make the trip to Essex and with my sons and my aunt we will scatter his ashes.
That was the first three months of 2008......... more was to come.
It seemed to start so well, I truly believed I had turned a corner, that my life was now going to get better, I felt I was loved (which turned out just to be a lie). I felt so happy, I was gaining belief in myself.
Then.... the wheels all started to come off and everything began to unravel at a sickeningly fast pace.
By the end of January the person who had made me believe I was loved more than anything in the world, had broken my heart. I guess I was just a game for him for a while and like a fool I fell into the game, hook, line and sinker. He is now married to someone else he met on the Internet. A lesson for me, only believe in yourself, trusting is something you don't do. Yes even older people can be hurt and made a fool of.
In February, I received an email from my father's wife (my mother and father divorced when I was little), she informed me my father was not well. I live in England, they in South Africa, where my half brother and half sister live. I had not seen my father for many years, and as most men he never kept in contact with me. March arrived and my fathers birthday 1st March (he turned 80), I sent an email to my half brother asking him to wish my dad a very happy birthday. Then on 9th March, I had an email from South Africa telling me my father had died. I never expected to feel the loss so very very much as I have done. My dad has gone, I never had a chance to say goodbye. That chance will come sometime during this summer here in England, I have my Dad's ashes, it was his request to be scattered in England, and the ashes were sent to me. My Dad has 1 living sister, and so when summer arrives, I will make the trip to Essex and with my sons and my aunt we will scatter his ashes.
That was the first three months of 2008......... more was to come.
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